Alright so last week I encountered two super cool people.
They had the coolest things to talk about and I was so inspired to be like them (insert sarcastic grin)
Why I found them so cool, because they were talking about their hepness(insert correct English for hep)
and that was...
was...
wait for it...
*drum roll*
Sutta, weed, joint, roll, marijuana, alcohol, and all other adjectives of attention seeking and desperation.
No I mean wait, you don't smoke? Like haven't ever tried a beer?! Seriously?!!! What, you are from, like, 1960?!
I mean, look at me, I don't know how you ACTUALLY smoke, after one beer I start acting like I am so wasted, bottoms up is MY thing though I have done it only once and then couldn't wake up for the next whole week. THAT is how cool I am! and you haven't done any of it?!
KIDDING?!
acha, Hookah?! voh toh try kiya hi hoga?!
Nahi?!
Well hell, someone get me a bib, I need to feed the baby!(rolling eyes)
You asking me?! Dude, like last week I went to OTB in HKV (because that's the only place I know, cross my fingers and hope you don't know whether they actually serve hookah or not) and the week before I went to (insert a lounge from C.P) and tomorrow I'm going to GK-2!
Although I have only been to Zook, once, and only SAW my friends have/smoke/eat/drink (whatever you do)a hookah but I'm gonna act as if I know all god damn flavor of that issh.
AND how could you forget my Facebook Profile Picture?!
I mean seriously?! I look so wasted in it with a glass of fizzless coke in my left hand and the tail of the hookah on my right and the smoke from my mouth. Look at what a bad ass I am?!!
Although mummy ne jutti lagani hain if I step out of the house after 7pm. But I'm still gonna brag in 30 different ways about that one time when my folks were out of town and I was on my own for like 6 whole hours and I had a night out, where we drank(NEAT) at my friend's PG in Noida. And I'll make sure every incident that happened that particular night, I transform them into incidents of different nights creating an illusions about the bazillion number of night outs I have had.
And every time I tell these stories to that one person I'm talking to, I'll make sure there are atleast 3 pair of ears also listening.
I mean please, like please . seriously.
Get a life people, I mean THIS is enjoyment.
phitshhhh!
Look at me, I am like this party arse, with the coolest stories in my back pocket.
My whole family knows about it, and they are so cool!
You are jealous aren't you?!
Next time you see me with my mom, don't even dare to utter a word.
