Love

I love you. Yes, heavy words. But we use them, everytime. And we all have different meanings in our lives to it.

For her it was him.
His smile.
His romance and his kiss.
So casually did she see him there. Simply they became friends and easily lovers. 'Lets give it a try' was what she thought. Little had she known he would mean the world to her. Every moment of her day would she spend in thinking about him. His voice her drug, his laugh her breath. She had never given that much importance to someone in her life. For him she was ready to sacrifice everything. The biggest flaw in her, he never paid heed to them. Gave her the energy, the spirit she always needed.
No cheats, no lies, no fake. It was just the both of them together, against the whole world.
Everytime she wore something new it was him that she wanted to impress even though knowing that it was of no need. He loved her for whatever she was.
One thing she knew for sure, he was the one person on the face of earth who would never give up on her. Never would he give up on them.
There was fire in their love.This fire kept her alive. And she would never let it die.
Always considered an unstable lover. Easily would she give up on anything. But this time it was not the same case. This time it was for real. She knew this in a very short span of time that what they had was meant to be.
Her smile radiated his hug.
He was the little accident that changed her life forever. And she was ready to spend the rest of her days with him.
And this is what love means to me.

Make way people, Bad Ass in town.

Alright so last week I encountered two super cool people.

They had the coolest things to talk about and I was so inspired to be like them (insert sarcastic grin)
Why I found them so cool, because they were talking about their hepness(insert correct English for hep)
and that was...
was...
wait for it...

*drum roll*

Sutta, weed, joint, roll, marijuana, alcohol, and all other adjectives of attention seeking and desperation.
No I mean wait, you don't smoke? Like haven't ever tried a  beer?! Seriously?!!! What, you are from, like, 1960?!
I mean, look at me, I don't know how you ACTUALLY smoke, after one beer I start acting like I am so wasted, bottoms up is MY thing though I have done it only once and then couldn't wake up for the next whole week. THAT is how cool I am! and you haven't done any of it?!
KIDDING?!

acha, Hookah?! voh toh try kiya hi hoga?!
Nahi?!
Well hell, someone get me a bib, I need to feed the baby!(rolling eyes)

You asking me?! Dude, like last week I went to OTB in HKV (because that's the only place I know, cross my fingers and hope you don't know whether they actually serve hookah or not) and the week before I went to (insert a lounge from C.P) and tomorrow I'm going to GK-2!
Although I have only been to Zook, once, and only SAW my friends have/smoke/eat/drink (whatever you do)a hookah but I'm gonna act as if I know all god damn flavor of that issh.
AND how could you forget my Facebook Profile Picture?!
I mean seriously?! I look so wasted in it with a glass of fizzless coke in my left hand and the tail of the hookah on my right and the smoke from my mouth. Look at what a bad ass I am?!!
Although mummy ne jutti lagani hain if I step out of the house after 7pm. But I'm still gonna brag in 30 different ways about that one time when my folks were out of town and I was on my own for like 6 whole hours  and I had a night out, where we drank(NEAT) at my friend's PG in Noida. And I'll make sure every incident that happened that particular night, I transform them into incidents of different nights creating an illusions about the bazillion number of night outs I have had.
And every time I tell these stories to that one person I'm talking to, I'll make sure there are atleast 3 pair of ears also listening.
I mean please, like please . seriously.
Get a life people, I mean THIS is enjoyment.
phitshhhh!
Look at me, I am like this party arse, with the coolest stories in my back pocket.
My whole family knows about it, and they are so cool!
You are jealous aren't you?!
Next time you see me with my mom, don't even dare to utter a word.

Because there is a brighter tomorrow

And so life is about a few highs and a lot of lows.
Some secrets safe, some bitter truth known.
Heart breaks, friendship fails.
A joyous ride of laughter and then drowning into the deep unknown

A day with the question so apt,
"Why me?", you would have definitely asked.
Felt like you going somewhere,
somewhere far away
Lost in the traumas of your life, you keep walking that way.

For once just turn around,
and for once just look out.
You'll find my hand reaching for you,
calling you back into my arms so you can be free.


We'll together start again.
We'll together start a new.
I'll help you rebuilt the game,
the game of life where you won't lose again.
And I'll help you keep your head up high
I'll help you smile
Because with me around, baby, I'll never let this beautiful flower die.

Regret

No regrets on knowing who are,
No regrets on having you so close to my heart.
You were the one who came when my heart bled,
You came when no one cared.

When even my shadow stopped claiming me.
He held me close didn't he?
He who I didn't know what to call
Friend?
Lover?
Family?
Companion?
or all!

So trapped in life he set me free,
Entangled within mt sorrows, he gave me glee.

But yet today, now I am alone,
Wanting to know what went wrong.
Those promises made, those secrets shared.
Were they the cool breeze before the storm that just spread?

And so I sit with this doubt and yet regret,
And wonder how the promises of being together forever just fled.

My words, Adia's life.

Every time I was up the terrace, she would ask me, “What are you doing there? I have a feeling, that you have wrong intentions. I’m calling your family right away if you don’t go down now.”

And now, when I stand there at the edge, on my terrace all I do is wait. I wait for her hand to call upon me to stop me from what I intend to do. And as if she doesn't come now, I am sure what’ll come are her tears. Tears of losing me forever.

  

We all have that one friend in our lives who are a spirit of happiness.  They can make any situation take a 180° turn and become way better. Well, I have been that one friend to everyone I've known, from family to friends, from ex’s to acquaintances. They come upto me with problems or teary eyes looking for someone to hear them. ‘No regrets’ is what I say on being such a person. I love to hear others and talk!
But always there has been in my heart a longing for such a friend that I have been to others. I wanted someone to turn the beast to beauty, the storm to sunshine, the darkness to light for me. But years have passed and it is really hard to find someone like that. People say the reason is I am very selfish when it came to my problems and only a piece of paper and my sketches know about them. How I wished that was not it. How I wished to have a walking person with 6 senses to listen to me with all their heart and soul.

But just as I had given up all hopes of finding such a shoulder to cry on I bumped into her. Her joyous face made me feel it was alright. I don’t know how, I don’t know where but we clicked. It was like after that day our lives were being written together. And this time I knew I had someone who’d make everything alright. Everything just perfect. The beauty of which I did see. Talking to her for hours was like a daily chore, hours which seemed like seconds. A day without seeing her was like a day without water. And I knew one thing, she knew me more than I did myself.

But then day by day all the vibes seemed only on the surface, the smile so fake. And slowly I got to know about her dreadful past. About all that she had been through. The bad and the worse but still sticking strong through all of it. And soon it again turned the otherway round. I became the shoulder where she did nothing but to cry and pour all the negatives neutralizing the leftovers of positives in me. But this time I was hurt. I opened my mouth to tell an incident happened that broke me down, either things turned bad for me with questions or worse on becomes a souse of reminder of all the pathetic life incidence and in the end I was sitting and consoling her. No, I didn’t like it. Things started turning only for her. There was no us.

But then one fine day she decides to walk out saying it’s a ‘break’. She needs to settle her own issues and she is not sure whether she’ll return or not. Leaving me hanging like a customer care call which is on hold while the executive finishes the other calls. But this time I didn’t hear the jingle. All I heard was an alarm. An alarm which shouted “its high time”.

Though it was one of the hardest decisions of my life but I did take it. I wished her goodluck for her life and bid my farewell. She said I never asked her to stay or the reason for leaving. But I already had my answers.

And as today as I sit on the terrace with rain and tears rolling down my face I ask myself this question, am I waiting for her? Do I want her back? Soon I make my stupid heart believe that she was just a short lesson in my life and now it was time to start a new chapter.

Sometimes we take a few decisions in our lives about which we are not sure. And these are those decisions that we surely regret.

We get carried away in our emotions and take decisions.

But remember regretting is not a crime but uncertainty defiantly is .

Who is she now?

What is she?

Was this the new beginning?

Or beginning of the end?

And so I commit the crime.